For me believing in Jesus is not a religion but having a relationship with a Person who is a living God who loves me.
Jesus loved me even before I knew Him, like parents that love their kids even before they are born.
I was born in a Chinese Thai family. All my grandparents migrated from China. We were all Buddhist.
None of us knew Jesus. I had interest in Buddhism when I was young. I often got top scores for Buddhism subject and was a school representative for quizzes. Deep inside I was curious about the truth and
searching for inner happiness which later I knew it was peace.
During a summer holiday in high school, I decided to become a nun for a period of time wearing white,
staying in a temple with real nuns and behaving like they did. I thought I could learn more about the truth
and get peace. But instead, every day, many times a day, I got rebuked by old nuns.
Don’t run on stairs. Oh you ran again. No you cant sing here. Why did you laugh?
I was also rebuked because of falling asleep during the long prayer after lunch. Every day I told my mom I wanted to go back to my normal life.
In my 4th year university in the faculty of Communication Arts, I came to the thoughts that if I died, there
should have been only 1 God in heaven, not like customized heavens like this is heavens for Greek gods, Oh if you are Buddhist please go the that corner of heaven.
So I did more research about Buddhism which I believed. And at the same time I was also open to other
religions like Islam, Hinduism, Judaism and Christianity. I spent time on this even more than my study.
I wanted to know the truth because I believed that through the truth I would have peace. I don’t care much
if I would be rich or famous after I graduated. Without peace, life is just unpleasant
One night in my bedroom I was so exhausted and down, I was tired with long prayers in Buddhism
followed by nightmares every night, I was tired with my personal life, I was bored with my study and felt life was so meaningless, so I said it out, I’m tired of searching for the truth. Whoever is the Greatest please
show Yourself to me. And I just went to bed without a long prayer that night.
Then I had a dream that I would never forget. In my dream, I knelt down and prayed for peace. Then I was wrapped in a very bright light. It was so white. And that light carried away all the heaviness in my heart,
every single concern and worry. I felt so light like a new born child. I asked myself in a dream,”When was
the last time I felt like this”. It was the first time I experienced such peace. After that I opened my eyes,
still in the dream, I saw myself standing on a cliff. There was a vast valley in front of me. And on the other
side of the valley I saw Someone standing and opening His arms to me. It was too far to see His face. I
didn’t know who He was. And a voice whispered to my right ear, saying that is Jesus.
I woke up in mixed feelings because the dream was so real to me, I felt like I had just come back from the cliff. I asked myself why Jesus! I didn’t read or listen anything about Him during that time. Then I was guilty cuz I thought I was buddhist I wasn’t supposed to dream about Jesus.
But that morning was new to me. Somehow, all the heaviness, worries and anxieties were gone, I tried to
be worried but I couldn’t be worried.
I thought its weird cuz usually when I had a good dream after I woke up I came back to the same world,
same anxious me. But this time the peace in the dream followed me to the reality. I checked the clock from time to time. Its 1pm and I still felt peace. Oh its already night, I still felt it, And the peace didn’t disappear even few days later.
Also there was something changed. I felt so loved by Jesus. The same tree looked more beautiful. I was
like in love. I could forgive people like never before. I remember I said to myself anyone if you step on my shoes I will forgive you, No one could make me angry I really was like that.
I wanted to know Jesus more. I went to library to borrow the Bible but I couldn’t understand by myself, But God’s grace was there. He kept leading me through dreams until I came to a church and He confirmed that it was the church He wanted me to be. I heard the gospel and learned that I didn’t have to be perfect or
know everything about Jesus before I came to Him. He loved me the way I am. And its like any relationship, I don’t have to know about the person everything like her thoughts, her address and family history before I make friend with her.
And through faith in Jesus I am forgiven and made righteous. I accepted Jesus and got baptized in that
church. I remember, after baptism I felt so free.
Jesus said in Matthew 7:7
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to You.
I search for the Him and Him I found.
However there were 2 things I was struggling when I was new believer.
I didn’t wanna share the gospel. I didn’t wanna tell people about Jesus. Not because I was shy but because I was afraid that Jesus would love me less if more people came to Him. However the more I knew God and His word, the more I am convinced that nothing can separate me from His unconditional love, Lord.
Also later I wanted to share about Jesus because I want them to experience His love and peace like I do,
and that they can have eternal life with Jesus and me.
I didn’t wanna read bible. A small group leader told me to read Bible every day. It wasnt because I didn’t
like reading but I didn’t like to be told what to do. I didn’t even read all my textbooks for exams. Who are
you to tell me to read Bible every day . So I resisted. Till one one day, I got a text from my Christian friend.
It was read,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your way,
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path-Proverbs3:5-6
And these 2 verses were so powerful to me. It gave me such comfort and peace that I didn’t need to
struggle, I didn’t even need to rely on my own understanding, I just trust God with all my heart. ALL my
heart! And He shall direct my path. I love that. And that day I started to read it again.
Through the Bible I have learned what love is in Corinth 13:4-7
I have learned that I didn’t have to worry that will love me less cuz nothing can separate me from His love Rom 8:38-39
I have learned how humble and loving Jesus is. He could go down from the Cross but He chose to die for
us to forgive our sins and bring us back to the Father.
I have learned to trust God that He is in control and all things work together for those who love Him, to
those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans8:28
Unlike religion, Jesus changed me from inside
From hating kids to loving kids,
From an isolated person to a sociable one.
From unforgiving to forgiving
From wanting to receive to loving to give,
From hardly smiling to cheerful heart.
From a lonely person, to a child of God, a member of His eternal family.
I can’t be who I am today without reading God’s word, His word is a lamp to my feet and light on my path. Without Gods family who love me, pray for me and correct me when I was about to do some crazy things.
I wouldn’t be here without His love, comfort, peace and healing.
Having a relationship with Jesus is like any other relationship.
It needs good communication, To talk to Him and to listen to Him.
To trust Him and be open to Him. To be sincere, if I do something wrong I will confess it to Him and ask for His forgiveness and strength to overcome my weakness. If I am blessed, I will thank Him and praise Him cuz He deserves my that. But the first step is to be open to Him and ask Him to come to our hearts.